Incomprehensible

You're playing with stuffed animals, having a very fun (and safe) game with Aradia when the teacher claps her hands for attention. "Children, it's the first day of school, and I know you are all excited to see your friends again. Before we play though, I must introduce you to your new classmate. Her family just moved here, so be nice."

You lay Tinkerbull on the floor and, like everyone else, focus your attention to the door. The new student enters confidently, unlike you on your first day, entering with your head bowed and your eyes glued to the floor. When she speaks, she doesn't stutter. "Hey losers, my name is Vriska Serket, and it's nice to meet you!!!!!!!!" she screams. More than a few of your classmates cover their ears.

"Wow, she sounds like a handful," Aradia whispers into your ear.

"Uh, well maybe she's actually nice?"

She's about to reply when Vriska suddenly marches up to where you are (the center of the room), knocking kids out of the way, and shoves Aradia to the floor. "Hey!" Aradia says, although Vriska ignores her.

"You look like a pathetic kid," she says, plopping herself down on Aradia's previous spot. "We should hang out! I'm totally awesome, you might learn from me!"

You look at Aradia, who appears to have a bruise already. "No thanks, uh, I don't think I need your help."

"Nonsense!" You're wondering if she notices the teacher fast approaching the two of you. "You totally need me."

"No I—"

"Vriska!" your teacher says sternly. "You shouldn't do such things! Come here, we need to have a talk." She's already dragging Vriska, who's whining as she's being led out the door.

You sigh in relief and help Aradia sit back up. "Wow, she really isn't nice. At all."

"No kidding." You're surprised when she pats your shoulder and offers a consoling smile. "I'd be more worried about you though."

You knit your eyebrows in confusion. "Why?"

"Well, it looks like she wants to stick around you."

You laugh shakily. Right. "Maybe she'll forget?"

Aradia doesn't look too convinced when she replies. "Hm. Maybe."

You hope so fervently that she would.



The next day, you learn that she didn't. She was even waiting for you at the school gates, grin widening as you got closer. Ordinarily you would be excited at the prospect of making a new friend. But Vriska…. Scares you.

Oh no you've reached the gate and she's grinning like mad. "Time for your training, Toreadork!"

What is she talking ab—she just grabs your lunch box! She's running into the grounds now. You chase after her, but she's too far ahead and you're gasping already. You have a problem with your legs, and you can't endure strenuous activity of any kind.

She's sitting on the steps, fishing out your sandwich with as much flair a nine-year old can muster. She's eating it slowly, watching you with a glint in her eyes. You're feeling a little uncomfortable. Also, you still don't understand what the point of all that was. "Uh, why did you take my sandwich?"

"So that you can finally defend yourself."

"I really don't think." You breathe deeply, for you're still tired. You need to put your hands on your knees just so you could stay upright. "That makes any sense."

"Well you better start thinking, Tavros! And next time, you should be able to stop me."

You splutter. "What huh—" But she's turned away and entered the school grounds. You sigh. That sandwich was your favorite flavor.



"She likes you," Karkat says over at recess. Vriska isn't here so you're free to eat your two sandwiches (for she never fails to take one; you've resorted to hiding one sandwich under your shirt) in peace.

You're sitting at a table, with you and Karkat on opposite sides. You think he's joking at first, but his face is all serious.

"What?" You almost choke on your peanut butter. "I think, that you're maybe, reading too much into this."

"Trust me. I'm an expert at this."

"Don't believe him. He just watches those boring romcoms he loves so much, hehe," says Terezi, suddenly behind him. She skips away when Karkat's face reddens in anger.

"Get the fuck off my case already!" he screams. The kids at the other tables turn to him in shock. The teacher marches toward your table, furious. "Karkat, what did I say about inappropriate language? Come to my office!"

Karkat's muttering as he follows the teacher. You're laughing at him, already in a good mood. Then out of nowhere, someone snatches your half-eaten peanut butter sandwich. "Think I was gone, did ya, Toreadork!" says a very nasal voice.

The thief is (unsurprisingly) Vriska. She's the same as always, except her face is pale, her nose is red, and her eyes are watery. She sneezes loudly, right into your sandwich. Yikes. "See," she says, sniffling. "Not even sickness can overcome Vriska—" she starts coughing, having to clutch the edge of the table to keep standing.

You are at a loss. Help her, or leave her alone? You decide on the former. "Hey, are you okay?" You reach out a tentative hand towards her, but she swats it away.

"No, stop it. I don't need anyone's he—achoooo!" Luckily she sneezed in the opposite direction. You kind of awkwardly grip her arm and lead her towards the clinic. You have a feeling you might regret this later, but someone's in trouble, and you have to do something. Although you usually help stray animals, and not people who are mean to you. You mentally shrug, you'll just liken it to the spider that bit you after you rescued a fly from its web.

"G-go away!" Vriska's usually stronger than this, and would've shoved you to the floor in seconds, but she's weak now. Her struggling is a ghost of flailing. "Why are you helping me, anyway," she says, wiping her nose on her sleeve.

You don't know either. Aradia often says you're too nice. "Uh, I actually, really don't know."

"Wow, you're still—" she sniffs "—really really lame." She's smiling though, so you guess you did alright. She's quiet as you drag her all the way to the other side of the school. It's only when you bring her inside the clinic and help her sit on the couch opposite the nurse's desk that she says, very, very quietly. "Thanks."

You had just explained the situation to the nurse when she said that. You turn around, more than a bit shocked. Vriska's face is red and she's looking at everywhere but you. "Uh, no problem," you reply.

There's a pillow on the couch which she picks up and muffles her face with. She mumbles something incoherent.

"What?"

"You can go away now," she says, voice louder although her face is still smushed into the pillow.

You recall what Karkat said and suddenly feel very weird. "Um, okay." As you leave the room, you make a mental note to talk to him about it later.



You have something to ask Karkat. There's a nagging feeling at the back of your mind, but you can't remember because there is a certain someone shooting spitballs at you.

You pick them off your hair, sighing. Being nice to Vriska seems only to have aggravated her. After that day in the clinic, her "training" has only gotten worse. She's tripped you in the corridors, laughing as your face met the ground. She takes more than your food now; she even steals your books and your water bottle and whatnot. You tried telling on her but she leaves no evidence, and she talks so sweetly the teacher can't help but believe her.

No matter how much you hide your things, she always seems to find them. You've put a lock on your bag one day, and the next it was gone. Its replacement was a note that read, "Try harder, Toreadork!!!!!!!! :::;D"

Every time you ask her why she does this, she just says it's to make you stronger. It's not your fault you don't understand. Her logic is like a bar of soap. No matter how hard you try grabbing it, it slips away.

She's still shooting at you. You're kind of tired of it, so you turn to her (Vriska's poised with a straw in her mouth and cheeks puffed with air) and say, "Please stop. I really can't see how, um, this helps. I don't think it's needed, actually."

Vriska sighs, as if you are a toddler who can't understand the simplest concept. "I'm trying to help you here!" She waves her arms frantically, then gestures to all of you. "You're too weak! Fight back!!"

"I don't want to. I don't think that's very nice."

She throws her hands into the air in exasperation. "Man, you're really an idi—"

"Tavros, Vriska, would you two like to share your conversation with everyone?"

"It's nothing miss, we're reaaaaaaaally sorry," Vriska says in an angelic tone.

"Sorry too," you reply quickly, ducking your head in shame.

The teacher returns to the lesson. Vriska finally stops bugging you. You sneak a look at her though, and she's banging her head on the table. Her ears are tinged red. You wonder what she's thinking about to make her so flustered.



You remember what you were going to ask Karkat after Vriska stole your backpack first thing in the morning (you don't know how you didn't notice considering that you were wearing it the entire day) and you spent two hours scouring the entire campus for it. It's recess now, and you still haven't found it.

You head on over to where the tables are, really annoyed now (why just now, you think to yourself) when you find your backpack lying on top of the table you and your friends eat at.

Gamzee seems to be forcing Karkat to drink some Faygo when you (tenderly) slam your fist on the wooden table. Both look up at you in surprise. "Vriska," you say, breathing heavily, "cannot. Possibly. Like. Me. She's really just. Mean!" You flop down on the bench. Suddenly, you're feeling very tired. As if all the things Vriska did to you was stored in a dam; the bag thing was the final straw, and now all the bad feelings you should've felt are now swirling in your gut.

"Since your tiny brain apparently can't comprehend, let me spell it out for you. People are mean to the people they like," Karkat says.

That seems a bit backwards to you. "I thought the entire purpose of liking someone was to, uh, be extra nice to them?"

"Well, to" Karkat leans in close, looks around, and whispers to you, "the spiderbitch, mean is nice."

"I really. Don't get that. It all sounds silly and dumb."

Karkat shrugs, back in his original position. "Don't come crying to me when you inevitably crush her heart, should it actually exist, with your own stupidity."

Now your cheeks are burning. "Can we stop talking about this? I'm feeling uncomfortable."

"Whatever." He's about to go into one of his usual tirades when his eyes widen. You're about to ask him what his deal is when a splash of sticky liquid suddenly soaks you. You don't need to hear the cackle to know who the culprit is.

You turn to her, wiping away as much of the juice as you can.

"Jeez, Tavros. When will you quit being a loser?" she says, a corner of her lip curled up.

"S-stop it." You're shivering; was there ice in that drink?

"What? I can't hear youuuuuuuu!"

"Please! Stop!" You don't have time to marvel at the contradiction of your words and your tone. You're sick of this. You're sick of her antics, and you want her to quit being a huge jerk. "Back off already!"

She looks stunned. The plastic cup she's holding falls to the floor. Then her face turns into its usual mask of bravado. "Finally someone's growing a spine. Keep it up, Tavros. Maybe someday, I'll be proud of you." She pats your shoulder, grinning at you, as if screaming some words made all the difference.

You really don't get this girl.

She starts walking away, pauses mid-stride, then runs to you and kisses your cheek. She just as swiftly turns back, saying, "I forgot about that!"

You're staring at her retreating form in shock.

"Miracles bro," Gamzee says.

"Told you so," Karkat says.

You think you stayed frozen for hours.

You. You guess you could get used to that.